“I cast out and you reel them in!” My daughter recently said to me. I laughed because she had all but confirmed that she sees herself as bait to attract women for her single father.

I don’t–nor have I ever–used my daughter as bait on purpose. I like to think that I am a pretty handsome guy and quite personable, even a little charming. However, my four-year-old daughter has been the greatest wingman I have ever had.

I’m 29 years old and have been a single father since my Cydney was nine months.  I’m still young and want to enjoy what my grandmother once told me are “the best years of my life.” Because of this I have taken my daughter with me some of everywhere. We would hop on Megabus and go to Washington, DC to hang out with my friends until the wee hours in the morning and she would be the life of the party without dulling down the festivities because she’s a kid. We’ve gone to happy hours, dinners, job interviews, networking events, you name it. If my college friends in New York have a day party and I don’t bring her they ask “Where’s Cydney?!” They’ve adopted her as an official member of the crew.

My girl knows my taste in women

I guess along the way Cydney has picked up on a thing or two. When or if she sees fit she will make her presence known to women. About two years ago, while watching the Knicks in a playoff game, Cydney took it upon herself to leave, invite herself to the neighboring table of girls in their mid-20s, introduce herself, stay there, eat some of their fries, knowing that I would have to come and get her. She has done this time and time again.  What’s extra interesting is that she has this down to a science. She knows exactly the kind of women I like and who find me attractive. It is as if she knows what she is looking for for her dad and for herself.

Cydney has not only appointed herself as the bait but she is also the gatekeeper. She is nice to everyone but if she isn’t quite interested she will let that be known as well. Once I took Cydney with me on a date. She was cool about it for a while. But when she was no longer interested she laid her coat on the ground and pretended to go to sleep. That was an indication it was time to get the check and go. She has done this more than once.

I’m aware that my experience dating as a single parent is a little different from most. Part of this is because I am a father with a little girl–seems to tug at heartstrings or something that I can’t quite understand (I chalk this up to being a guy). But many single parents have found dating to be more of a challenge. It’s tough to find time for it and I definitely have a hard time being able to consistently do so, but for me getting a date has never been a problem.

Do single dads have a dating advantage?

My good luck might be because there is a double standard around dating single fathers versus single mothers. I will admit I don’t date single moms. I did once, but for the most part I stay away. I have my reasons and for the sake of this post they don’t really matter. In any case, knowing that I’m a solo dad with a cute little girl makes women fawn…so I’ve been told.

I think my ability to find dates is also because I am not afraid to take risks. One of the things about starting a blog based around the Adventures of a Single Dad is that it prompted me to constantly find things to get into. I often say God knows I live for great stories so He keeps giving me great stories to tell. There have been weekends in which I wanted to do absolutely nothing, but I would make a conscious decision to go out, do something, and bring my kid along just for the sake of having something else to write about. I still have living to do and my daughter is a major part of what I do it all for. Turns out she’s been paying attention and has found herself a niche for continuing to make things interesting.

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Photo by  lauren lulu taylor on Unsplash


Chad Milner founded the blog Singledadventures.com, and is a contributing writer for Singlewith and Mommy Noire. He's also a project-management and website consultant, with a psychology/business management degree from Morehouse College. Chad lives in New York City with his daughter Cydney.

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